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Finally: Yet another scenario for Egypt’s future

6 Feb

While Egypt has seen the 12th day of its half-televised revolution, some Smart People of the West have wisely used this time to come up with a range of scary scenarios concerning the aftermath of the Egyptian uprise.

SCARY SCENARIO No. 1 involves Islamists and Iran, oh my! It goes like this: What if Egypt turns out to be like Iran, the blueprint Ayatullah state? Now, let’s not again go through the countless reasons why it won’t turn out to be Iran, the blueprint Ayatullah state. Here and here and here, for anyone who was asleep or illiterate all of last week.

But now, Lo: This week, Egyptian Foreign minister Ahmed Aboul Gheit pretty much suggested Khamenei take his “Jumhuriye al-Islamiye” by the hands and stay in his own dancing space. Very sleek! So Egypt refuses the Iran scenario. But nevermind, say the Smart People, because there still is:

SCARY SCENARIO No. 2! This basically involves Egypt acting like Pakistan, according to Robert Haddick for Foreign Policy: New Egypt will become anti-American and acts politically stubborn. Hence, new Egypt’s cooperation might turn out to cost the USA a whole lot more foreign aid than Mubarak Egypt. Hmm. What is Robert Haddick actually trying to say with this? That the stock market prices for good allies are on the rise this year? That Mubarak is the better choice after all? That the US shall remember Pakistan while selecting Mubarak’s successor? Let’s see how Egypt can get out of this one. They can’t very well pull the “mind your own business” bit again. With the USA, they might have to get louder. Here’s my personal

AWESOME SCENARIO No. 1: Aboul Gheit screams his own rendition of “You don’t Own Me” while video-skyping with Hillary Clinton, films that and puts it up on Youtube. Instant classic.


يوميات زين العابدين بن علي – Ben Alis Tagebücher

6 Feb

Der arabische Cartoon-Onliesender Kharabeesh behauptet kein Interesse daran zu haben, den nächsten Toy Story Film zu animieren. Ist ja auch nicht nötig. Kharabeesh animiert stattdessen Zine Ben Alis Pensionärsleben.

Found: Kharabeesh’s Youtube Channel.


2 Feb

“Mubarak…      Mubarak…       as-Saudiya ntizarak”

“Mubarak…      Mubarak…        Saudi-Arabien wartet schon auf Dich”



24 Aug

Ich stehe vor einer lustigen kugeligen Apothekerin, weil ich einen Riesenschnitt im Finger habe; nein, keinen Schnitt: eine Schlucht. Ich zeige ihr meine Splatter-Finger, sie wendet sich augenblicklich zum Regal, sucht mitleidigst nach Iod und Pflaster und murmelt auf Englisch „Oh my God…!“



13 Aug

Der Taxifahrer vermutet, dass ich aus Kalifornien komme. Ich frage mich, ob er das wegen meines Karohemdes und meiner nicht-kalifornisch blassen Haut vermutet. Er sagt, dass er das vermutet, weil ich Arabisch mit ihm spreche.

Bestechend plausibel.